Rannoch Mountaineering Club 

www.climbrannoch.co.uk

By Big Al, June 2004

bundle [verb] - to jostle, manhandle or push unceremoniously, particularly in a hill-walking context.

Ah yes…JD, the Master Bundler, black belt (Desperate Dan) in Bundling, the ancient art of hill violence with extreme competitive prejudice. Here is a Bundlerography of the very man….

JD learned the techniques of pushing at a very early age… …and developed fast…

He soon became the biggest and best Hill Bundler around…

My own personal experience of JD’s bundling is a very painful experience to recall. It was on Martha’s Peak - Beinn Airigh Charr……near Poolewe on a Rannoch Dinner Meet  of several years ago.

On the hill were myself, ‘C’, Savoury Riceboy, and the aforementioned Bundlemeister JD. We had our usual carefree dawdle up the hill, chatting as we merrily went on our way and partaking of the excellent views to be had. We then set off back down the hill eager for a few swallies before the evening festivities. Nearing the end of the descent, I just might  possibly have broken into a slight trot to enable myself to get to the bar first to buy my good buddies a beer after an excellent day on the hill. Now, I realise that is a bizarre, alien and OUTRAGEOUS concept for a miserly east-coast skinflint like JD who is so tight that if he put a piece of coal into his pocket…in 2 weeks it would be a diamond!

JD was ‘in the zone’, and construed my almost imperceptible change of pace as an attempted DASH FOR THE CAR!!…in other words A RACE!! …his razor-sharp senses were tuned to perfection….and his Bundling killer-instinct kicked in….and as I approached a stile on a deer fence…

…HE BUNDLED ME INTO IT!!…. I had a Bundle victim’s eye-view of a deer fence, and then he nipped over the stile and got to the nearby parked car and claimed some pathetic kind of spurious victory. He is a VERY VERY SAD AND DANGEROUS MAN.

HE IS A  VERY VERY SAD, AND DANGEROUS MAN!         THE BUNDLER....

So, fellow Rannochers, the moral of this tale is watch out for THE BUNDLER. He could be lurking near the cairn, by the stile, ready to pounce.

Ladies and Gentlemen…..I give you…..

THE BUNDLER

Big Al, June 2004