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Rannoch Speak, by Shaz Nov 03, (Following
Altnafeidh)
(written in the wake of C&M's Last Munro, 8 November 2003)
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Okay. I think I get it now. When someone says, 'Morton will be in the Kingshouse from 9pm to 11pm with the key to Lagangarbh', what they actually mean is 'Morton will be going straight to Lagangarbh and going to his bed early leaving you sitting in the Kingshouse on your own for hours waiting for him to arrive, before setting off with great trepidation in the dark along a pot-holed road to a place you have never been before hoping that someone will be there to let you in'.
And when someone says, 'We'll take the easy route up Curved Ridge', conjuring up images of a leisurely stroll along a gently undulating ridge, what they actually mean is 'You will be required to inch your way up a vertical rock face and expected to hang by your fingernails in a force ten gale while people take pictures of you for the evenings slide show.'
'I'll be with you every step of the way', roughly translates to 'if you stop to take a Mars Bar out of your rucksack, I will be off like a shot in order to get to the top before you and consume all the Champagne before you get there'.
'C is catering for the vegetarians', apparently means, 'C is bringing a chicken curry for those that don't eat meat' (because, as we all know, chicken is not really meat).
It would also appear that written instructions are not exempt from Rannochisation, notably the safety instructions on a box of fireworks and other written notices (won't mention these here to protect the guilty, but there is indisputable photographic evidence that rules are clearly not expected to be taken too literally).
However, by the end of the weekend, I was beginning to get the hang of it, and if I say 'look forward to seeing you all again', you'll know what I mean.
Apart from (or because of?) communication problems, it was a memorable weekend with a fantastic day on the hill and a great evening of highly entertaining photographic presentations. There was even some most un-Rannoch-like behaviour with one member foregoing an early start on the drink to return to the hill to 'rescue' some stragglers who were making their way through the peat bogs in the dark, and see them home safely. A noble gesture, however, once again, names are being withheld to protect the reputations of both the rescuer and the rescuees.
Thanks to C & M for ‘arranging’ it all and a big personal thank you to Webby for giving me a punt up at the difficult bits (at least I think that’s what he was doing).
Shaz (
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10 November 2003 |
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